Thursday, May 27, 2010

Facebook Status Story #1

NOTE: Here is a collaborative story I started on facebook. Enjoy the read! Please help come up with a good title. And don't forget to participate in the collaborative story started in the previous entry as well as the one in my Xanga blog (you can post as anonymous if you don't have a Xanga account and don't want one)

[RITA] It was a dark and stormy night and Laura was all alone in her brand new house. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere she hears. . .

[Darkhuntress Tammy] the creak of footsteps coming up the stairs. She panics. She freaks. With nowhere to hide, she found her closet and went inside. . .

[RITA] and found waayy at the back a magical land known as Narnia. Laura met the fawn and then. . .

[Lisa Marie] As she sat there she thought, "What the f*#> am I doing in here???" So, she got it together and with her chest puffed she went to see who the hell was in her house. . .

[Laura D] She peeked around the corner to see a dark figure moving around. Making sure she had her trusty bow and arrow she flipped on the light to see. . .

[Jennifer Lane] herself staring into a mirror. She screamed! A man, Lance Diamond stared back at her. She suddenly felt faint recalling the night of the accident. . .

[Laura D] when she had been walking to the bathroom and tripped over a dead body, hit her head and fell down the swirly slide into the basement. Laura/Lance didn't remember anything until now. Lance heard a sound behind him and turned around to see that famous celebrity named. . .

[Darkhuntress Tammy] Johnny Depp. "Why are you here?" Lance asked. "Lance, I'm here to take you to Wonderland." replied Mad Hatter Johnny. Lance gave his hand to him and they stepped into the door leading to Wonderland. But before they could go any further it suddenly became cold. . .

[Laura D] "Johnny!" Lance shouted. "This isn't Wonderland! We are back in Narnia!" "My bad," he replied. "What do you think should we do?" asked a very frightened Lance. "Well first I guess we should---" A sudden rustling interrupted Johnny. They turned to see the White Witch. She smiled evilly and pointed her magic wand at Lance. . . .

[Jennifer Lane] He looked closer. The white witch was actually the ghost of Michael Jackson. Ghost Michael said, "Wonderland sucks! Come with me to Neverland!" So off they went to Neverland. First they stopped off in heaven where Michael befriended circus animals who died tragically. The ghost of an elephant bent down for Lance to climb atop. Johnny mounted a giraffe. Michael hopped onto the back of a Bengal Tiger. “Neverland here we come!” Michael said. Each animal took flight. . .

[Darkhuntress Tammy] and off they went. Suddenly, they were being chased by the evil flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz.” Johnny pulled out the White Witch's wand and began flinging lightning bolts at the evil monkeys. Lance shot arrows at them while Michael just sat there singing "We Are The World". "Michael, what are you doing?” asked Lance. “Please help us fight!" cried Johnny. "I am helping. Maybe my song would heal the evil monkeys' hearts. Then they won't be so evil anymore.” They all turned and saw the monkeys heavily approaching.

[Laura D] They were clearly out-numbered. All hope seemed lost when suddenly Gandalf the Gray appeared followed by Harry Potter. Gandalf raised his staff over his head and shouted, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" As he brought the staff down there was a loud thump and the monkeys disappeared. "Lance, you are definitely not Legolas," Gandalf told him. “Yeah,” agreed Harry. "He would have shot all those monkeys." "GANDALF!" interrupted Johnny. "You're my hero!” exclaimed Lance. “Show us the way back to Wonderland!" shouted Lance and Johnny. "No, show us the way to Neverland." Michael said. The two started arguing loudly. “Wonderland” “Neverland” “Wonderland” “NEVERLAND!” “WONDERLANDDDDD!” Finally, Gandalf had enough. He. . .

[Darkhuntress Tammy] raised his staff and pointed it at Harry. Harry knew just what to do. He said a spell and poof went Micheal. "Well he WAS getting annoying," Lance said. Johnny smiled a dazzling smile and shook Gandalf's hand. "Off to Wonderland now?" "No, my son, off to NARNIA!" Johnny threw back his head and yelled "Nooooooo."

[RITA] Just then another flicker of light. It was Zeus and he was pissed off! He said. . .

[Darkhuntress Tammy] "Gandalf, why did you use my lightning bolts? I did not give thee permission." "But my lord, the monkeys were attacking them," Gandalf said. "So, I do not care! Have u forgotten I am a selfish GOD!!!" While Zeus was talking, Johnny snuck up behind him with the invisibility cloak he stole from Harry Potter and threw it over him like a potato sack. Gandalf grabbed a rope out of nowhere and tied Zeus up. "Unhand me you fiends, yee shall pay for what you've done." Then Johnny said...

[RITA] "Ah screw it! I don't care anymore! I'm gonna go back to Wonderland and sit down with Alice and the Queen of Hearts and everyone else and watch the finally of American Idol. You are all welcome to join me if you'd like." Just then a flying monkey leaped up and knocked Lance unconscious. When Lance woke up he discovered that he was no longer in Neverland, no longer in Wonderland, no longer in Narnia. Lance was home. He was safe and sound in his bed. All the same, he was still just a little confused. He got up, heart pounding and went to the bathroom. As he turned on the light he looked in the mirror, saw Laura staring back and realized it was all just a crazy and wacky dream! "Oh thank god," said Laura. "I am only human. A girl. And it was all just one unbelievable nightmare of misadventures." And off to bed she went to TRY to get a few ZZZZ's.


[Darkhuntress Tammy] Or is it??? DUN DUN DUNNNN . . .

Monday, May 24, 2010

It's Story Time!

Instructions: write 1-2 sentences to continue the story. Leave off mid-sentence. Take it anywhere you want. If u cant think of anything grab a book & write something u read or just write whatever pops into your head.

Day 1. It was a dark and stormy night and Dauna was all alone in her brand new house. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere she hears...

Sunday, May 23, 2010


So it's been a while since I really felt like writing anything. I would say probably a good year at least. But at the suggestion of my friend's mom I decided to take a Stand up Comedy Workshop to last from late February to early April 2010. Much to my surprise I have found something else I really enjoy doing- finding the funny in everything around me. I always thought "Meh, I'm not funny." or "I have a dry sense of humor that just isn't very funny." Now I have found a way to channel it and turn my sorta funny personality into something pretty cool (if you ask me). The class has been extended and I am really having a lot of fun with it all! In this blog (Assorted Randomness) and my other one (Xanga Weblog) I've been posting some of my jokes along with other things I find interesting or funny or useful.

I was talking with an old online friend yesterday about writing and blogs and whatnot. Her name is Dauna ( and I happen to think she's really cool, really sweet, and pretty smart and straightforward too. (No she didn't pay me or even ask me to talk about her or her blog.) A couple years ago she started her own online community, if you will, of writers. It was called Tag You're It. It was a collaborative writing initiative- the only website of its kind. It's a couple of years since the website dissolved due to lack of interest, motivation, busy lives, and collaborators and all of a sudden me and Dauna reconnected through Facebook and began to reminisce about the stories we wrote and we realized something- we miss it!
"Why are you telling me all this?" you may be asking me. Well I will soon tell you. Yesterday, Dauna and I were chatting and we started talking about writing again and she mentioned this site she stumbled upon. It's called One Million Monkeys Typing- an evolutionary writing site where only the strongest stories survive. So we both signed up in hopes that it'll bring us as much joy as the original Tag did. Then, we came up with an idea to get us going again. Each day we will set our facebook/twitter statuses to one or two sentences and our friends and followers would continue the story along one or two sentences at a time until people stop responding. Once that happens we'll post it in our blogs and notes as a story. Then, an even better idea came to my mind: do the same thing with our blogs and get our followers involved there too.

So that's what we will be doing starting tomorrow! I'm hoping this will get me to stay more in touch with my friends and help me gather more followers! Here's to the fun!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Iceland Volcano Jokes (not mine)

 Iceland Volcano Jokes (not mine)

It’s a bit early for  Iceland volcano jokes. We should wait a while for the dust to settle.

I see that America has declared war on Iceland.  Apparently  they  are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon  of ash  eruption”.

It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over  Europe.

Iceland  goes bankrupt,  then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written  all over  it.

Iceland,  we wanted  your cash, not your ash.

Waiter,  there's  volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it's a no-fly zone.

Richard  Curtis is  working on a new romantic-comedy about people stuck in an airport who fall in  love. The  working title is "Lava Actually".

"Supermarket  chain  Iceland announces that they have shelved plans to launch a new home  delivery  service because they are worried it 'might not take off.'

I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen  sausages,  a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the  fallout from  Iceland.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Privacy Settings | Jokes | Bargains

This website provides an independent and open tool for scanning your Facebook privacy settings. The source code and its development will always remain open and transparent. Works with all major social networks!



I always get mixed
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." By time I get to the 3th dwarf i just start filling names in
and don't stop till I begin to fall asleep. There's Bashful, Sneezy, Sleazy, Goofy, Pluto, Dasher, Blitzan, Rudolph, Comet, Grover, ELMO, Oscar the grouch, and Sleeeeepppy."

I'm 25 years old now but it scares me that I still get from people that I look like I'm 10. You know you look way too young when you get carded at 7-11 for a Slurpee
or someone constantly asks "Little girl, are you lost? where's your mommy?
"  I ain't lost bub now gimme the lottery ticket i asked for!

asks me some way to personal questions...I got scared when I look in my notifications and they ask me "what color is your p?" why? Are the vitamins I take going to change it to poop if it's the wrong color?


The Best Places to Ask for Freebies

You may not realize it, but you are probably passing up hundreds of dollars worth of freebies all because you failed to do one thing: ask. There are places you likely frequent on a regular basis that are handing out freebies every single day, but only to those who request them. Here are some of the best places to ask for freebies.

Doctor’s Office - If a doctor hands you a prescription, ask for a free sample. Drug companies give doctors lots of freebies to hand out. You may get a month or two worth of free medicine without having to stop by the pharmacy.

Cosmetics Counters - Next time you’re passing through the cosmetics counters at your favorite department store, ask for some freebies. This is especially useful if there’s a product you want to try, but you’d rather get a sample before spending serious cash on it. Cosmetics companies know lots of people want to try before they buy, which is why getting freebies is fairly common here.

Restaurants or Ice Cream Shops - See something on the menu you’re not quite sure about? Ask if you can try it. A little taste may be enough to satisfy your craving so there’s no need to order a full serving.

The Freecycle Network - Freecycle is a great place to score lots of freebies. The Freecycle Network is made up of 4,793 groups with more than seven million members around the world who simply want to keep stuff out of landfills. Simply post what you’d like for free and another member of the group may have it. Of course, it’s a good idea to give back, so make sure you hand out free stuff to others when you can.

Your Hotel - When you’re on vacation, ask your hotel if they have any freebies. You may get an upgrade, free food or a discount just for asking. Hotels typically aim to please, and a small freebie can be enough to make guests very happy.

By Alison Storm- The Bargainist
---------- - Shopping through this link will not only snag you free shipping on orders over $25, but a free $25 gift card! Expires 05/21/2010.

Piperlime coupon code - Save an extra 10% on sale items with coupon code EXTRA10 through 05/13/2010. Don't forget to check out the deals, coupons, and, yes, freebies, at, too!

Lane Bryant coupon - 40% off sitewide-Get  ready for some major savings! Beginning today, Lane Bryant is throwing the sale of all sales and is cutting prices sitewide by a whopping 40%. And, unlike their other sales, even Cacique is getting in on the savings. Apply coupon code 000403696 at checkout to claim this discount on apparel, shoes, and accessories. Some exclusions may apply, see site for details. Sale ends 05/23/2010.   
*Hot deals expire quickly. This deal may no longer be valid.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Top 5 Social Media Scams

Top 5 Social Media Scams

ClubNorton: your one-stop resource center for Internet security.
We’re wired to be social creatures, and sites like Twitter and Facebook have capitalized on this to great success. According to its COO Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook draws 175 million logins every day.

But with this tremendous popularity comes a dark side as well. Virus writers and other cybercriminals go where the numbers are—and that includes popular social media sites. To help you avoid a con or viral infection, we’ve put together this list of the top 5 social media scams.

# 5 Chain Letters

You’ve likely seen this one before—the dreaded chain letter has returned. It may appear in the form of, "Retweet this and Bill Gates will donate $5 million to charity!" But hold on, let’s think about this. Bill Gates already does a lot for charity. Why would he wait for something like this to take action? Answer: He wouldn’t. Both the cause and claim are fake.

So why would someone post this? Good question. It could be some prankster looking for a laugh, or a spammer needing "friends" to hit up later. Many well meaning people pass these fake claims onto others. Break the chain and inform them of the likely ruse.

# 4 Cash Grabs

By their very nature, social media sites make it easy for us to stay in touch with friends, while reaching out to meet new ones. But how well do you really know these new acquaintances? That person with the attractive profile picture who just friended you—and suddenly needs money-is probably some cybercriminal looking for easy cash. Think twice before acting. In fact, the same advice applies even if you know the person.

Picture this: You just received an urgent request from one of your real friends who "lost his wallet on vacation and needs some cash to get home." So, being the helpful person you are, you send some money right away, per his instructions. But there’s a problem: your friend never sent this request. In fact, he isn’t even aware of it. His malware-infected computer grabbed all of his contacts and forwarded the bogus email to everyone, waiting to see who would bite.

Again, think before acting. Call your friend. Inform him of the request and see if it's true. Next, make sure your computer isn't infected as well.

# 3 Hidden Charges

"What type of STAR WARS character are you? Find out with our quiz! All of your friends have taken it!" Hmm, this sounds interesting, so you enter your info and cell number, as instructed. After a few minutes, a text turns up. It turns out you’re more Yoda than Darth Vader. Well, that’s interesting…but not as much as your next month’s cell bill will be. You’ve also just unwittingly subscribed to some dubious monthly service that charges $9.95 every month.

As it turns out, that "free, fun service" is neither. Be wary of these bait and switch games. They tend to thrive on social sites.

# 2 Phishing Requests

"Somebody just put up these pictures of you drunk at this wild party! Check 'em out here!" Huh? Let me see that! Immediately, you click on the enclosed link, which takes you to your Twitter or Facebook login page. There, you enter your account info-and a cybercriminal now has your password, along with total control of your account.

How did this happen? Both the email and landing page were fake. That link you clicked took you to a page that only looked like your intended social site. It's called phishing, and you've just been had. To prevent this, make sure your Internet security includes anti-phishing defenses. Many freeware programs don't include this essential protection.

# 1 Hidden URLs

Beware of blindly clicking on shortened URLs. You'll see them everywhere on Twitter, but you never know where you're going to go since the URL ("Uniform Resource Locator," the Web address) hides the full location. Clicking on such a link could direct you to your intended site, or one that installs all sorts of malware on your computer.

URL shorteners can be quite useful. Just beware of their potential pitfalls, and make sure you have real-time protection against spyware and viruses.

Bottom line: Any sites that attract a significant number of visitors are going to lure in a criminal element, too. Norton Internet Security offers the comprehensive protection you need to defend yourself against all of these dangers. With it, you can surf with confidence.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Interesting Health Fact

Interesting Health Fact

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that
connects the eyeball to the anus? ?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving
people a shitty outlook on life. ?

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your arse

and see if it doesn't bring tears to your eyes.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The T.I.R.E.D. Device

MountainWings       A MountainWings Moment
#10134          Wings Over The Mountains of Life

The T.I.R.E.D. Device

The seven-year-old and the four-year-old each held my hand (or rather I held on to them) as we walked down the mall.

I felt like a helicopter trying to get the blades spinning. They jerked, twirled, and pulled my arms as we walked.

After 30 minutes, I wondered, "Don't these kids ever get tired?"

I am an inventor. I have developed computer programs, music, electronic devices, cosmetics, health products, mechanical devices and other stuff in addition to writing MountainWings.

I have an idea and I want to run it by you to see if you would want one. It's always good to do market research before spending a lot of time developing something.

This is the idea:
A device that transfers your kid's excess energy to you.
It's called the "Transfer In Reverse Energy Device" or T.I.R.E.D. for short.

Whenever you feel a little drained and your kids have energy to spare, you would simply push the button labeled "T.I.R.E.D." and instantly (well maybe in ten seconds or so) you would get a big burst of energy and they would calm down.

Before I began working on T.I.R.E.D., I just wonder is there anyone besides me who needs such a machine and how much would you pay for it?

~A MountainWings Original~

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Sanitize Your Facebook Profile or Else!

As posted by @dollarish on Xanga

Sanitize Your Facebook Profile or Else!


Before you post that naughty picture on Facebook you may want to consider this.

70% of employers admit to have rejected job applicants because of the personal information found on the internet.

Apparently though, potential employees are not as oblivious to this percentage as one might think. Although 60% of applicants say they are concerned about the effect their public internet profiles may have on their employment chances, only 15% of them actually censor the content they post.

According to these numbers, it seems that, statistically speaking, the majority of people value an embellished cyber-life more than a career.

These outrageous numbers are so out of proportion that Microsoft now sponsors an annual non-holiday day termed "Data Privacy Day." The aim of this day is not only to spread awareness about the risks of negligent postings, but more so to publicize their flip side.

86% of U.S. human resource workers say that employers assign great value to job candidates' positive online representations, and impressive background searches can amount to positive outcomes for employees.

Do you sanitize  your online profile for employment purposes? Are you concerned about how your online profile might influence your profession?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

10 Positives and Negatives About Me

Thanks to xKayTee91 on Xanga for the brilliant idea of a list of qualities in myself I like and dislike!

Ten Negatives.

1. I don't exercise very much.
I plan on working on this this summer. I'm tired of being fat and not having enough energy.

2. I tend to make poor diet choices.
I've always loved stuff that's not very good for me. But yet I'm a member of the Food Revolution! Maybe if the stuff that's not processed and full of crap was cheaper and more easily available than that processed nonsense I wouldn't eat so bad. I enjoy fruits and veggies and yogurt, I just don't really eat enough of the good stuff.

3. I'm unemployed.
I was laid off in December just before Christmas and I haven't been able to get a job since. I've looked but only got one interview and job offer and then they ended up giving the position to someone else after they gave me the run-around when I asked them questions that were important for me to know before I could accept the position.

4. I can be lazy.
I really hate being lazy, but lately it seems I'm becoming it more and more. I need to be up and about.

5. I don't always treat others the way I wish to be treated.
Don't get me wrong I try. And I always have the best of intentions but sometimes I tell little lies and words just come out wrong or I just don't think enough before I speak.

6. I'm emotional.
This is probably one of my worst traits. I swear I never used to be, but something changed this is me. I get upset easily and take things to heart which generally leads to me crying and getting all emotional.

7. I'm not very confident in myself.
I never have been. I've always been quite shy around new people despite being friendly, and I get so nervous when I have to do presentations in front of people as much as I am may be confident in what I am presenting.

8. I watch too much TV.
This kinda ties in with the being lazy point. If there weren't so many great things on I probably wouldn't watch as much. Sometimes I don't even enjoy watching it. I just do it cos I'm bored and don't feel like doing anything else.

9. I only have a handful of good friends.
This kinda ties in with the confidence thing and the shyness. It's always been difficult for me to make friends somehow despite being friendly. What sucks most about this is that I'm not even all that close with them. I try put sometimes people just grow apart or always seem to be busy

10. I don't really know what I want to do with my life.
I'm totally stumped. I went to a community college and chose Literature, Philosophy, and the Arts as my major. I don't regret this because I chose my major based on my interests and it allowed me to take a bunch of really cool electives like business management and ethics classes. I would like to go back to school for business management because I have some experience there thanks to the job I had while going through college. Business management and working in retail have always interested me, but the money is fairly poor. I'm at a dead-end.


Ten Positives.

1. I have nice eyes.
I like my eyes and everyone always tells me I have pretty eyes. Apart from the fact that their sight is crap (I wear glasses and have since I was a kid).

2. I love to be comfortable.
I don't really like the 'latest fashions.' I won't rush out to the nearest store to buy the latest must-have item. I like to dress simple- gimme jeans or leggings and a t-shirt or camisole and a pair of sneakers and I'll be happy!

3. I love my friends.
My friends are my world. I may not have a lot or be all that close with them all but I don't know what I'd do without them in my life.

4. I'm funny.
I've got a great sense of humor and I do see the funny in most things. I've been taking a Stand-up Comedy Workshop to kind of help me express it more.

5. I'm loving and caring.
I'm incredibly loving, and sometimes I probably care too much, but at least I care. I get attached to animals and people. It's probably why I take it so hard and get upset when people act certain ways to me or tell me things I don't necessarily want to hear.

6. I'm passionate and creative.
I can be quite passionate about things that I believe in. I think one would be animal rights. I cannot stand animal cruelty. Another thing would be music. I love music! Music is my life. Without music I wouldn't be who I am today. Friends and family may not always be there for you when you need them (they have their reasons) but music is something I know I can rely on.

7. I enjoy helping people.
This kinda ties in with being passionate. If I could do nothing else the rest of my life I would choose to help people. I get so much joy and satisfaction out of it because I like to see how it makes others happy when I can do something to help them, even if it is just something that seems small.

8. I'm not religious but I am spiritual and believe in a higher being.
This is a positive for me because I believe it makes me think for myself. I don't look to a more powerful being for answers. I pray when I feel stressed out about something and sometimes it helps but I know in the end the decision is still up to me. God or whomever put me here to make choices and mistakes not to lean on someone else all the time. (And before anyone starts, I'm not bashing anyone who is religious. I completely respect that.)

9. I like to window shop and do price comparisons.
I think of this as a positive cos it potentially can save me a lot of money in the long run. I think before I buy. And I always make sure I am well aware of return policies so if I do ended up buying something and I go home and realize I don't need it I can just bring it back and get the money back instead of wasting my money.

10. I know my faults.
I think that the fact I know and am willing to accept my faults for what they are is a positive. It is a positive in that know I can work on them and hopefully work on becoming not a better but perhaps a more positive person.

So there you have it. There's my lists. Thank you to xKayTee91 on Xanga for the inspiration for todays blog. Considering I'm not a huge fan of myself, I think I did pretty well coming up with what I did. If you know me and you think there are more qualities good or bad please list them. I was honest, and that's all I could be. I hope to start and keep working on those negatives asap.

Facts of the Day

These facts of the day are from Extra's "Betcha Didn't Know" segment that aired today May 11th, 2010.

(1) wet food is better than dry if your dog is overweight because it is 75% water. To help your dog drop those extra pounds faster feed it wet food and lots of exercise.

(2) 1/3 pound of broccoli has more Vitamin C than 204 apples.

(3) If you drink a lot of milk it can cause acne to become worse. This is due to the hormones present in it.

(4) Betcha don't wanna know this one: If your toothbrush is within 6 feet of your toilet it gets contaminated with bacteria every time you flush!

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Camp Nowhere quote/ my jokes

Just realized I stole one of my jokes from one of my favorite movies "Camp Nowhere" lol.

"Mud": Dad! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I can't act stupid.
Zach: If Mud's guilty I am too.
Gaby: Me too! I'm smart enough to act stupid.
Trish: Yeah and I'm stupid too! Well... you know what I mean.

My joke: I may be dumb but I'm smart enough to know I'm not stupid!
Here's a couple of my other jokes:

I'm not with stupid anymore, stupid's with me. Wait that sounds stupid.

I suffer from "chocophobia"... a completely logical fear that someday the world will run out of chocolate completely.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Some jokes

Please help me out and critique my jokes and help me make them better.

Warning from bowling alley: We cause Fun & Laughter to happen!
Thank god you posted that warning cos I thought that's where dead people come from.

"Great minds have purposes, little minds have wishes." My mind has a gutter!

When life turns to nothingness... turn that nothingness into lemons and make yourself a glass of something I like to call lemonade.