Showcase Rescheduled

It's official the comedy showcase for the 19th has been rescheduled for the fall. :( I will set up a new facebook event when the time comes! :) We need a big head count so this doesn't happen again!!

Iceland Volcano Jokes (not mine)

 Iceland Volcano Jokes (not mine)

It’s a bit early for  Iceland volcano jokes. We should wait a while for the dust to settle.

I see that America has declared war on Iceland.  Apparently  they  are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon  of ash  eruption”.

It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over  Europe.

Iceland  goes bankrupt,  then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written  all over  it.

Iceland,  we wanted  your cash, not your ash.

Waiter,  there's  volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it's a no-fly zone.

Richard  Curtis is  working on a new romantic-comedy about people stuck in an airport who fall in  love. The  working title is "Lava Actually".

"Supermarket  chain  Iceland announces that they have shelved plans to launch a new home  delivery  service because they are worried it 'might not take off.'

I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen  sausages,  a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the  fallout from  Iceland.

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Jokes

I always get mixed Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." By time I get to the 3th dwarf i just start filling names in and don't stop till I begin to fall asleep. There's Bashful, Sneezy, Sleazy, Goofy, Pluto, Dasher, Blitzan, Rudolph, Comet, Grover, ELMO, Oscar the grouch, and Sleeeeepppy."

I'm 25 years old now but it scares me that I still get from people that I look like I'm 10. You know you look way too young when you get carded at 7-11 for a Slurpee or someone constantly asks "Little girl, are you lost? where's your mommy?"  I ain't lost bub now gimme the lottery ticket i asked for!

Facebook asks me some way to personal questions...I got scared when I look in my notifications and they ask me "what color is your p?" why? Are the vitamins I take going to change it to poop if it's the wrong color?
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The Best Places to Ask for Freebies

You may not realize it, but you are probably passing up hundreds of dollars worth of freebies all because you failed to do one thing: ask. There are places you likely frequent on a regular basis that are handing out freebies every single day, but only to those who request them. Here are some of the best places to ask for freebies.

Doctor’s Office - If a doctor hands you a prescription, ask for a free sample. Drug companies give doctors lots of freebies to hand out. You may get a month or two worth of free medicine without having to stop by the pharmacy.

Cosmetics Counters - Next time you’re passing through the cosmetics counters at your favorite department store, ask for some freebies. This is especially useful if there’s a product you want to try, but you’d rather get a sample before spending serious cash on it. Cosmetics companies know lots of people want to try before they buy, which is why getting freebies is fairly common here.

Restaurants or Ice Cream Shops - See something on the menu you’re not quite sure about? Ask if you can try it. A little taste may be enough to satisfy your craving so there’s no need to order a full serving.

The Freecycle Network - Freecycle is a great place to score lots of freebies. The Freecycle Network is made up of 4,793 groups with more than seven million members around the world who simply want to keep stuff out of landfills. Simply post what you’d like for free and another member of the group may have it. Of course, it’s a good idea to give back, so make sure you hand out free stuff to others when you can.

Your Hotel - When you’re on vacation, ask your hotel if they have any freebies. You may get an upgrade, free food or a discount just for asking. Hotels typically aim to please, and a small freebie can be enough to make guests very happy.

By Alison Storm- The Bargainist
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Drugstore.com - Shopping through this link will not only snag you free shipping on orders over $25, but a free $25 Restaurant.com gift card! Expires 05/21/2010.

Piperlime coupon code - Save an extra 10% on sale items with coupon code EXTRA10 through 05/13/2010. Don't forget to check out the deals, coupons, and, yes, freebies, at Tjoos.com, too!

Lane Bryant coupon - 40% off sitewide-Get  ready for some major savings! Beginning today, Lane Bryant is throwing the sale of all sales and is cutting prices sitewide by a whopping 40%. And, unlike their other sales, even Cacique is getting in on the savings. Apply coupon code 000403696 at checkout to claim this discount on apparel, shoes, and accessories. Some exclusions may apply, see site for details. Sale ends 05/23/2010.   
                                                                                *Hot deals expire quickly. This deal may no longer be valid.

Some jokes

Please help me out and critique my jokes and help me make them better.
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Warning from bowling alley: We cause Fun & Laughter to happen!
Thank god you posted that warning cos I thought that's where dead people come from.

"Great minds have purposes, little minds have wishes." My mind has a gutter!

When life turns to nothingness... turn that nothingness into lemons and make yourself a glass of something I like to call lemonade.