dog photos- cute and funny

Duck Joke

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.




The barman looks at him and says,





"Hang on! You're a duck."



"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.



"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.



"I see your ears are working too,"

Says the duck.





"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"



"Certainly, sorry about that,"

Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.





"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"



"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.





"I'm a plasterer."



The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a paper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.



The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"



"Sounds marvelous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.





"Get him to give me a call."



So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."



"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck."Where is it?"



"At the circus,"

Says the barman.



"The circus?"

Repeats the duck.



"That's right,"

Replies the barman.



"The circus?" The duck asks again. With the big tent?"



"Yeah," the barman replies.



"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?"says the duck.



"Of course," the barman replies.



"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.



"That's right!" says the barman.



The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . .

> .

> .

> .

> .





"What the f.... would they want with a plasterer??!"

Why I pass on jokes

This explains why I forward jokes.








A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.



He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years... He wondered where the road was leading them.



After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble... At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.



When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'



'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.



Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.



'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked









'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'



The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence



As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.



'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'



'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.



'There should be a bowl by the pump.'



They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog...



When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.



'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.



'This is Heaven,' he answered.



'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'



'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'



'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'



'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'





Soooo..





Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word...



Maybe this will explain.



When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.





When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.







So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile...







You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!

Fit in Fruits and Vegetables

Eating fruits and vegetables can do some amazing things for your body: help stave off chronic diseases like heart disease, cancer, and diabetes, keep your skin healthy and your brain sharp, and help you lose weight without your feeling hungry. But the sad fact is that three out of four people don't get close to five servings of fruits and vegetables a day, which is the minimum amount recommended in the Healthy Living With Ellie program. If you count yourself among that majority, here are some tips to help you fit more of these nutritional powerhouses into your life!

• Buy bags of prewashed greens so you can make a salad in no time.
  
• Keep blueberries and grapes in the freezer, and nibble on them while they're still frozen.
  
• Make an extra-large batch of vegetable soup. Freeze the leftovers in single-serving containers for easy, instant homemade lunches on busy days.
  
• Every Monday, bring five pieces of fresh fruit to work, and eat one every day. Keep the fruit in a basket — not only will you eat more but you'll enjoy how it looks!
  
• For a satisfying snack, spread some peanut butter on apple slices or a banana.
  
• Take a half hour each week to cut up fresh fruits and veggies and store them in sealed containers. No one can resist a ready-to-eat fruit salad, and peppers, celery, and carrots are much more enticing when they are already washed and cut.
  
• Visit your local farmers' market. You'll be amazed at the array of colorful, delicious produce you'll find.

Going forward with the Healthy Living With Ellie program, make sure to eat at least two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables every day.

I have never seen a Willy Pepper before...These are actual peppers from the garden.
They are called 'Willy Peppers'..

By the way, they can grow up to 18" long! Sort of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it!