This explains why I forward jokes.
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years... He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble... At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog...
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
Soooo..
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word...
Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.
So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile...
You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!
Heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer's disease — these conditions pose a serious threat to the health of women. And although there's no miracle diet or magic food to prevent cancer or keep your mind sharp, choosing the right foods has a big impact on your health and well-being overall, and may help keep these diseases at bay — especially heart disease.
These 10 healthy tips can help you incorporate the right foods into your diet:
1. Eat Mother Nature’s finest. Fruits and vegetables are an absolute staple of any diet. Whether you're aiming for heart disease prevention or creating a cancer prevention diet, start with fruits and vegetables. These high-fiber goodies do wonders for maintaining a healthy body weight — an essential for women's health. They're known to help prevent various cancers, including lung and colon cancer. All fruits and veggies are good, but cruciferous vegetables (brussels sprouts, broccoli, kale, cabbage, and cauliflower) are particularly effective against colorectal cancer. Eat a wide variety of colors, flavors, and textures, and at least five daily servings of them.
2. Stick to low-fat and lean choices. Obesity is linked to a number of health conditions, particularly heart disease and many cancers. Lean protein and low- or non-fat dairy foods are healthy foods — opting for leaner choices gives you the benefits without all the fat and cholesterol. Nuts (in small amounts), egg whites, and beans are healthy protein choices, too.
3. Cut cholesterol by limiting fat. Build your protein choices around cold-water fish (their fatty acids are good for you) and skinless turkey and chicken. Avoid meats that tend to be higher in fat and cholesterol, such as lamb, beef, and pork, and when you do eat when, look for the leanest cuts and limit your portion sizes. For cancer and heart disease prevention, skip the processed meats — sausage, lunch meats, and so on.
4. Opt for whole grains. White breads, pastas, and rice lack nutrients and fiber, which can help protect against heart disease and cancer. Whole grains, on the other hand, are a great choice for carbohydrates and fiber. As a side to your lean protein, choose from delicious whole grains like brown rice, barley, bulgur, quinoa, whole oats, and oatmeal.
5. Limit alcohol intake. The recommendation for women is a maximum of one daily alcoholic beverage — if you drink at all. One drink means a 5-ounce serving of wine, a 12-ounce beer, or 1.5 ounces of liquor. Cutting back on alcohol is important in a cancer prevention diet, as alcohol can be a contributing factor in breast, liver, esophageal, and mouth cancers, as well as colorectal cancer. Alcohol in excess also contributes to high blood pressure and can have a negative effect on the heart itself. If you do drink, opt for red wine, which is rich in heart-healthy flavonoids.
6. Boost your antioxidant intake. Antioxidants are vitamins and other substances that help the body stay healthy by protecting cells from damage — the underlying problem when cancer occurs. Antioxidants help protect against Alzheimer's, cancer, and heart disease. Get enough in your diet through healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds.
7. Focus on vitamins C and E. These two antioxidants in particular may help decrease your Alzheimer's disease risk. Vitamin E is found in many oils made from vegetables and nuts, including soybean, safflower, corn, and vegetable oil, as well as spinach, wheat germ, and sunflower seeds. Fruits and even some vegetables are rich in vitamin C, including citrus, strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, kiwi, avocado, asparagus, peppers, and broccoli.
8. Be picky about fats. Saturated and trans fats — fast foods, packaged desserts and snack foods, fattening meats, butter, and mayonnaise are typically loaded with these — clog arteries and pack on the pounds. Stay away from these unhealthy fats (many also have a lot of cholesterol) and instead choose unsaturated fats. Cook with vegetable oils instead of butter, and snack on nuts — good sources of healthy fats — to help prevent heart disease and a trim your waistline.
9. Opt for fish. Fish, notably cold-water varieties, are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which offer great heart-health protection and may aid in prevention of Alzheimer's disease. Fish high in omega-3s include salmon, herring, albacore tuna, mackerel, sardines, lake trout, and herring. Try to eat a serving of fish at least once a week — research has shown that not only is it great for your heart, but it can also reduce Alzheimer's risk up to 60 percent. Walnuts, flaxseed and flaxseed oil, and soybean and canola oils are also good sources of omega-3s. Though research hasn't yet found that omega-3 fatty acids prevent cancer, these nutrients boast many other women's health benefits.
10. Up your potassium intake. Avoiding too much sodium is important for heart disease prevention, and adding potassium to your diet can counteract some of the harmful effects of the sodium that you do eat. Fruits and vegetables rich in potassium include potatoes, tomatoes and tomato-based foods, papayas, prunes, grapefruit juice, orange juice, dates, lettuce, and raisins.
Incorporating these healthy foods into your diet can help you prevent cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and heart disease. Start making your health a priority now by making healthy habits a way of life.
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