Mistakes & Rakes

This is a poem I wrote in August '05.
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Mistakes I have made,
this is true;
but how in the world
am I to know what to do?

I'm so scared;
I feel like I'm lost,
like I'm all alone.

How come it seems
so easy to just
dial a # on the phone?

Why can't I do it?
Instead I just wind up
throwing a big fit.

Confusion and animosity
are all that surround me.
There isn't even a peaceful
place to take a pee.

How is anyone supposed
to think in this mess?
There's nothing left to do-
nothing except stress.

No one to turn to,
nowhere to run;
there's not even 
time to have fun.

So many things have
changed. Lately it seems
from all my friends I've
become astranged.

Seems like trouble
is always around the bend.
Sometimes I just wish
I had that one special friend.

We'd laugh, we'd joke, we'd
even call each other dorks.
Sometimes we could even
stab each other with forks.

I seem to make the
stupidest mistakes-
like hitting my little
brother with rakes.

It seems like everyone
around me knows
my weaknesses.
At least this time
there were no witnesses!

I'm such an idiot sometimes.
I just can't get away from it.
Please excuse me now while
I sink in this bottomless pit!